These are the times...

So it's 9:18 am on Tuesday, May 22, 2007. Do you know what that means? I'm presenting my senior project to the judges in roughly 8 hours and 12 minutes. I'm so excited, because in roughly 8 hours and 42 minutes, I will be done with senior project! That means a weight will be lifted off my shoulders. I will no longer have to stress out anymore about getting things turned in on time or making sure I have it done to the satisfaction of my teacher. School ends for me in 13 days, including weekends and days off. I only have one exam, Honors Discrete- 3rd period. If I end up with an A in the class, I have no exams & will be cotent with graduation. Graduation is in 18 days- I'm so excited, you have no idea. I leave in 4 days for Savannah, Georgia for the weekend. I'm leaving at 8 am on saturday & won't be home til around 5ish on monday.

Speaking of trips, only 31 days [roughly] until the possibility of me going to Boston for a weekend. If Madd & I have a car, we're going up for June 23rd for Vanna's show, to surprise the boys. The only thing is Nick & Evan already know. So it'll be a surprise for Brandon, Chris, & Shawn. Nick is really excited about it. I really hope things work out & we can go. My birthday is in 37 days. I will officially be an adult! I'm so excited about this summer. I'm going to work a lot so I can make enough money to move out. I'm so ready to have a place of my own. Well, it'd be mine, Madd's, & probably Tia's.

I'm supposed to be in chorus right now, but they're working on stuff for auditions, which are being held this week, so I went to Walmart & Port City Java instead. Now I'm in the library, typing this up. I have a couple things to do for my portfolio before I turn it in next period.

My advisor is in here, so I'm gonna go talk to her. BYE!

june 9.
only 40 days til high school is out of my life.
actually, if you think about it, it's never actually out of your life.
it's still there- it still exists.
the only thing that changes is the fact that we no longer attend it once we graduate.

i'm so excited, you have no idea.
school is one thing that keeps me stressed out, especially this semester.
it's one of the main things my parents & i argue about.
so once it's done with, life is good.


anyway, prom was on saturday.
it was so much fun!
josh's mom paid for all of us to eat dinner at yosake.
josh got all three of us corsages.
he was by far the best date i've had.
he actually danced.
he didn't mope around.
it was really fun this year.

that's about it.
idk what to say.
i'm not in a rambling mood.
:]

peace.

thanks for the best years of my life, i mean that.
you have been there for every step of the way and
i'm so happy to have found someone like you;
cuz without you, i dont know what i would do.




so i haven't updated in over a month.
we don't get on the computers in senior project anymore, & i always forget to update when i'm home.

in the last month, things have been good, bad, happy, shitty, you name it.
right now, life is good.
i had a stupid lunch detention yesterday for skipping homeroom last week.
josh pitts is going to prom with me on saturday.
courtney, tia, josh, & i are getting ready at my house.
at 6, we're going to Yosaki [spelling?] for dinner.
then going to prom.
then tia & i might go to brunswick brofest.
if matt & andrew go, i think we will.
plus chip & zach want us to go.
and brandon.
& marc.
so we might.
not sure yet.

i'm bored.
i don't know what to say.
courtney's doing my extensions today, yay!
matt & caswell are coming back to town today so caswell can get his tattoo done.
i think i'm going to stop at Port City & see them.
i feel bad for not saying bye to matt sunday; he was in the shower when i left.

i wanna go back to myrtle beach.
or charlotte.
not greensboro.
only fuckfaced assholes live there.
with their dumb trashstaches.
& their stupid dickness.
& jealous rages because i can't come see them.

i think andrew & i are okay.
i've talked to him a little recently, & things were chill.
we can actually get along & hold a civil conversation on the phone now.
it's not all yelling & screaming & crying.

i don't know what else to say.
i kinda wanna take a break from people.
tia & i were talking about it last night.
i'm tired of stupid people with stupid little petty arguments.
one good petty thing is TOM PETTY.
i've been getting into him lately.
i'm in love with Mary Jane's Last Dance.
shows lately have been alright.
i love the little shows, like The Hottness a couple weeks ago.
it was JUST wilmington kids.

don't get me wrong, the brunswick kids are still okay.
but idk, i like when it's just like danny, dan, robby, me, payge, josh, etc shows.
those are nice calm shows.
i know i'm not happy with one kid, though.
he practically stalks josh when he's around & it's lame as hell.

but yeah.
i'm rambling.
just saying things on my mind.
like cheese.
cheese is good.
i've gotten really into Scarred on MTV.
i watch it every week.
i was hanging out w/ dan, danny, & madd last week & missed the new episode.
it made me mad because i had to wait til thursday to see it.
i was like what the hell?
all i wanted was my spiderman gummies & scarred.
last night's episode was CRAZY!
a skier broke both his ankles.
a skateboarder broke his arm real bad [on my birthday-- he was real cute]
a rollerblader fucked up his spine, collarbone, & elbow.
it was gruesome.
& the most fucked up clip of the day was a rollerblader was grinding stair rail & fell & sat down/landed right on his foot/ankle.
it completely destroyed his ankle bone.
next week's episode, a kid does something & breaks his hand.
& THE BONES COME COMPLETELY THROUGH THE SKIN & STICK OUT.
all you see are white bone sticking through his palm.
it made my stomach queasy.

but yeah.
i'm done now.
finally.
:]

peace.

so, this weekend.
it was an interesting one.

friday, school was lame.
strickland said i had to fix my paper some, so i couldn't turn it in, SUCKS.
i hung out w/ madd, courtney, & tia all day.
we were driving around, blasting fall out boy.
madd & i were singing our faces off, hahaha.
we went to pcj, & walked around downtown.
talked to taddeo, since he finally got in town.
met up with him & the other ASGR boys at the mall.
hung out with them, robby, & danny for a while.
went to the show.
had a blast.
besides my girls, i mainly hung out with taddeo & brian [brian is a mini taddeo- who would have guessed they're related? the funny thing is brian is so much smaller, but he is the older of the two! haha]
i hung out w/ alex a little too.
& i hung out with BRAD!
M3T4L BR4D!
M3T4L D4RB, as tia calls him.
i was so embarrassed when it came to alex, hahaha.
my batteries had just died, so i was gonna quietly be like "hey _____, do you have some batteries?" to the next person that i knew that walked by.
& he was the one that walked by, so i did it, thinking he didn't hear me.
so i kept talking to tia & madd, oblivious to anything.
they started yelling my name & snapped me out of my trance.
alex was standing there, waiting for me to talk to him, hahaha.
i didn't realize he had heard me, & he was like, "what'd you ask me? etc"
i felt like the biggest dumbass.
then i bought an ASGR shirt.
i asked taddeo which shirt i should get & he was like, "get the white one. because if you get wet, i can see your boobies."
that right there made my night.
they played an amazing set.
scott was wearing super short shorts, like exercise shorts.
& his balls were in my face most of the time, hahaha.
not to mention he was drunk as all hell.
i was having fun watching justin's dreds fly all over the place.

after the show, i talked to alex online from 2-6:45 am.
found out he wanted to make out with me, i was like WTH?!
why didn't you tell me that before, when i was with you!
hahaha, ugh he's so cute.
madd spent the night.

saturday, chilled.
i called in sick to work.
went to get hair cuts w/ madd.
went to the movies with madd, dan, whit, brandon, patrick.
andrew & matt came to town, so i spent some time with them + tia.
andrew was upset, & it killed me to see him like that.
he wasn't supposed to be in wilmington & his mom flipped when he told her.
i gave him the biggest 5 minute hug ever, & didn't want to let him go.
went to whit's for a BOMBfire, as she calls it.
it was a lot of fun.
madd spent the night [what else is new?].

sunday, i just sat home.
i called in sick to work because i had no voice.
i was going to go to jax to see andrew, but my parents wouldn't let me take any cars, because i didn't tell them until the very last second that i called out.
madd came over.
we rented American Psycho & watched it.

monday, school was lame.
i worked 2-10.
andrew & tanner came into town around 11.
they drove an hour to see me for like 15 minutes, if that.
i knew i loved those kids haha.
i was so surprised, though.
andrew was like, "we're coming to wilmington."
& i was like, "are you serious?"
& he was like, "yeah. what, would i lie to you about it or something?"
& i was like, "no, you could be playing a mean joke on me, though. & that wouldn't be nice."
& he was like, "haha no, we're on the way. we just passed topsail."
so they came over at 11 for about 10/15 minutes.
i was so happy to see him.

tuesday, school was lame.
i was having a rough day.
got in more fights.
typical thing.
i started to go to bed around 2.
right as i was about to go to bed, seth milberger imed me.
i hadn't talked to him in a while, so i figured i'd stay on.
but only because i love the kid like no other :]
he kept asking me to come kidnap him.
& make out with him, & stuff.
& i was just like, seth. you have a girlfriend. i'm not gonna do that to her.
& he was like, "shhh, you don't know her! haha. just pretend i'm single!"
& i was like, "haha it'd be a lot different if you WERE. but i'd feel bad if i did anything."
& he'd be like, "but you're cuteeeeee."
hahahah, it made my night.
everytime he asked me to do something, i'd be like no, you have girlfriend. me=no. or something to that effect :]
haha i do love the kid, though.
he makes me smile.
we've been friends for about 3 years now.
i wish i could see him more, though :[
damn you, raleigh.

okay, well this is long enough.
that's a brief synopsis of my weekend/week.
class is almost over.
i got a 77 on my paper, word.
haha.
PEACE OUT GIRLSCOUT.

Sentence Outline:

Thesis: If it weren’t for photography, there would be no past- just a blur of fading memories.


I. History
A. The early history of photojournalism has had the biggest impact on where the field has gotten to today.
1. In the 1700s, the camera obscura was created, impacting the way photography worked.
2. The 19th century was a very important century for the photography age, due to inventions that came out.
3. Two of the more famous first styles of photographs were the daguerreotype and the calotype- both invented by French artists.
B. The Golden Age was a major factor in changing the course of photography, as well as photojournalism.
1. Between the 1920s and the 1950s, photography was in an era of awareness and vision.
2. During the golden age, the reputations of many magazines were created, as well as the names of some photographers.
3. Once the 1980’s hit, the quality of the newspapers was a lot better, including the quality of the paper as well as the quality of the ink.
C. The quality of the technology is advancing everyday, giving more meaning to the term photography, as well as better resources for the everyday photographer.
1. A digital point and shoot camera usually has an LCD monitor screen, which is like a small computer screen on the back of the camera.
2. Most digital cameras for professional use are based on 35mm SLR's. These cameras use interchangeable lenses and allow a wide range of adjustments.
3. A new type of digital camera, the Electronic Viewfinder (EVF), works much like a SLR. However, the viewfinder eyepiece is really a tiny monitor. This eliminates the need for expensive and complex optical parts such as the mirror and prism.

II. Tools
A. The most important part of photography is not the camera, it is the mind and the creativity that is enclosed in that mind.
1. The most important part of the photography field is not a camera or anything tangible. The most important part is the photographer’s sense of creativity.
2. Everyone has their own source of inspiration, whether it’s a person, a place, or a mood.
3. There’s no such thing as having an “eye” for photography, as long as one has inspiration and motivation.
B. After the mind, the camera- the notebook for one’s thoughts and inspirations- is the next most important tool for photography.
1. The main parts are the body, the lens, the shutter, the film holder, and the viewfinder.
2. The body is the main part of the camera- it is what holds all the other parts together.
3. The lens is one or more curved pieces of glass that fit in the front of a camera and help filter the light, allowing only a small amount in.
C. There are various types of cameras for various levels of photographers.
1. One popular one for the amateur photographer is a point and shoot, one time use camera.
2. The next type of camera that requires little work is a point and shoot camera.
3. The last type of major camera is the single lens reflex camera, used mainly by more well-developed photographers.

III. Techniques
A. One main way photography is well known is as an art.
1. Amid the proliferation of practical applications and new formal solutions, a scattered but energetic group of photographers in the late 19th century sought to cut themselves off from the worldly role of their medium in order to establish photography as a branch of fine art.
2. The 19th century was the first time photography was really considered to be an art.
3. As an art, photography has given new meaning to the objects people see everyday.
B. The most popular form of photography is known as black and white photography.
1. For black and white, there is a specific type of film one needs.
2. Film for black-and-white photography consists of a transparent base on which is spread a thin layer of an emulsion consisting of a suspension of minute mixed crystals of silver halides, such as silver bromide and silver iodide, in gelatin.
3. Black and white photography is very popular among many photographers today. The reason is simply because black and white photos have a more laid back and simple feel to them.
C. A crucial process to photography is known as the negative-positive process.
1. During development, substances known as dye couplers incorporated in the three layers are converted into dyes that stain each of the three silver images in a color complementary to the color of the light that formed it.
2. Next, the negative is placed in an enlarger, where the image is thrown onto printing paper coated with three superimposed layers of emulsion that are essentially the same as those in the negative color film.
3. Just as the negative forms colors complementary to those in the optical image, so the paper forms colors complementary to those in the negative. The result is that the original colors of the subject are reproduced.

Photography has helped keep the mind strong, due to the remembrance of memories that would have long faded.

that's my word of the week.
hahahahaha.
i'm sooo mature.

so yeah.
jameson might be coming to the show.
chance might be coming, too. [the kid that doesn't talk]
i still don't know any definites, from jacksonville.

last night i talked to carter for like 3 hours.
he seriously is my favorite kid to talk to.
we made each other signs & i left him a note on his page.
i really cannot wait until he moves to topsail :]
he said he's going to be in wilmington ALL the time.
hanging out with me.
that made me happy :]
i think we're going to become best friends.
he's such a cute little scene kid, haha.
& apparently he added danny.
so i told danny to talk to him & become friends with him, so he'll have at least one guy.

speaking of danny, he wants to hang out today.
i really want to, but i have to do senior project.
& i might have to work, i won't know for sure until 3rd when savanna calls me.
i only have today & tmrw to work on it.
it's due friday.
then my life will slowly be getting back to normal.

speaking of my paper, i'm going to work on it now.
PEACE.

A Stained Glass Romance is coming back on friday!
i can't believe it's been almost a whole month since i saw taddeo, it doesn't feel it.
so i'm going to the show.
so is madd.
so is tia.
i'm trying to get my jville kids to go too!
so far, i've asked vanessa, carter, tanner, andrew, matt, brandon, & marc.
i hope they all [or most of them] come.
:]

vanessa: is trying to.
carter: is looking for a ride.
tanner: no response yet.
andrew: is trying to.
matt: no response yet [probably will if he's not busy]
brandon: is trying to.
marc: is trying to? [if brandon goes, he probably will, too]

meaning this show will be PERFECT!
i'll have all my wilmington kids as well as my jacksonville kids! :D
it's totally a win/win situation.


bands playing:
- a stained glass romance
- massacre of the umbilical cord
- rapture cabaret
- and she wrote
- jezebel.

it's like $7 for under 21 [$5 for over]
everyone go!
esp my wilm kids, & the jville kids i listed.

yes, i am.
a big one.

looking back, my post from friday was awful.
right after i posted that, i went to math.
when i was in math, he texted me & was like "lol i'm in wilmington."
i got so frustrated, because just thursday, he was like, "can you lay off me a little?" & then the next day, he's all, "i'm in wilmington, i really wanna see you. blahblahblah."

so i met up with him & tanner at the music loft.
after there, we went to kohl's to get my check; & then to the mall.
up until we were at the mall, andrew & i were super mean to each other.
once we got to the mall, we went to abercrombie, so he could get some jeans.
tanner & i were chillin, smelling like every fragrance we could find.
after that, we were starving, so we got some food.
we were in line at sarku japan, & i ordered mine & andrew's food & he was like, "aww, this is like a little date!" & i was like, "aww, yeah it is!"
so we had a date at the mall, hahaha.
then we went to spencer's so i could go say hey to cody & then we left.
after the mall, we went to the pawn shop on oleander.
andrew & tanner were looking for a hush system for their gear.
they had one at the pawn shop, so andrew got it.
he needed like 35 cents for the tax.
so instead of breaking a bill, he asked me if i had any change.
& i had exactly 35 cents.
after he cought it, he gave me a huge hug, kissed me on the cheek, & was like, "thank you so muchhh!"

we left the pawn shop & started heading back to music loft, so they could get their van & go home [they had skipped school & came to town].
on the way to music loft, i was going straight down college, & some bitch was turning left into kmart.
she turned right in front of me & we ended up colliding.
i was so pissed off [i hadn't even had my car for a week & it was already fucked up].
the front left fender/bumper was torn up; the radiator was busted; the antifreeze was leaking.
i was shaking so badddd, i didn't know what to do.
andrew grabbed my hand & held it until i calmed down, which made me feel a lot better.
luckily, before the cop & my parents came, tanner started walking to the music loft to get the van & andrew stayed with me.
we got everything worked out, the lady is a dumb slut.
andrew kept calling her a crackwhore hahah.
we got everything taken care of, & mom & i left.
madd came over & we went to lucky's that night.
omfg, that show was the best wilmington locals show ever.
it was like me, dan, danny, robby, madd, eddie, & a couple others.
it was so chill, i loved it.
carter ended up not coming - vanessa got called into work, so they couldn't :[
& matt ended up not coming.
madd spent the night.
at like 1, matt texted me & was like "where's tia? i'm in wilmington"
so that was sweeeeet, 3 jville kids came.

so saturday, i worked 9-1.
that was really tiring.
i had my piano recital that afternoon, it went well :]
after that, we went to eat at Spencer's, in the Hilton.
mom & dad wouldn't let me stay the night anywhere, so i went to poison the well.
that was so much funnnn.
i hung out with marc, which was a lot of fun.
i met his friends brandon & chance- they're cool kids, even though chance didn't really talk.
brandon seems like a really nice kid :]
he's the new guitarist for unending blame [he took andrew's place]
we stayed until almost the end, but the boys were ready to go, & they were our ride.
so they took me, tia, & madd back to my house.
we watched dane cook & chilled, & went to bed.

yesterday, everything was blah.
i got into a few fights with my parents.
madd & i went to the mall for like 30 min.
i saw ryan lee, which was way nice.
the weather sucked.
& i tried to hook whittnae & brandon up, which they turned against me- i got punk'd.
but i talked to andrew last night, which was nice.
i decided he & i are going to go see Dead Silence, that movie looks good.
& if it weren't for him telling me about it, i wouldn't have known.
but then after i watched the trailer online, i saw the commercial for it like twice hahah.

but yeah, so all in all i had a good weekend.
especially friday<3

:]

i've seen you cry way too many times, when you deserve to be alive.









actually, i've seen ME cry way too many times.
like last night.
andrew keller is an asshole, & i'm pissed off at him.
i told him to call me last night.
& he hadn't.
so like 3 hours later, i texted him & i was like, "i didn't think you would call tonight. i guess i'll live without talking to you for another night. also, my friend wants to know which foot you would like to lose."
[just joking around, whittnae told me to tell him that part.]
so like two minutes later, he called me & was like, "who is your friend?"
& i was like, "my friend whittnae."
& he was like, "tell your friend i said to shut the fuck up. i'm sorry i can't always call & talk to you. i'm really busy with this band & blahblahblah. [yelling] i'm having a bad fucking night. one of the worst in like a year. & on top of the shit i'm going through [which he won't talk to me about, so THAT helps a lot] i don't need you making me feel like shit as well."
i started yelling at this point.
i was like, "andrew keller. i'm not trying to fucking make you feel like shit."
he was like, "you're such a fucking liar. can you not read the shit you sent me?! it's all fucking negative."
at this point, i tossed my phone to the other side of the couch.
i couldn't take it.
he's one boy i REALLY care about.
whether i like him as a friend or more [i'm still not sure which one at this point], i really care for him.
finally, i picked the phone up & he was like, "could you just lay off a little?"
& i quickly responded with a simple "whatever."
& he was like, "thank you."
& i was like, "whatever." and hung up.
at this point, i was already starting to tear up.
so as soon as i hung the phone up, i started crying for a good 15 minutes.
i felt like complete shit.
i talked to tia about it, & i started out beating myself up about it.
by the time she was going to bed, i was shit talking him so bad, i was so pissed off.
when i go to his show tomorrow, i'm not saying shit to him unless he comes up to me first.
i give up so much for this kid & look what happens.
i buy him shit.
i give him money for a hotel room when he's here, so we can stay together [which he still fucking has].
i drive an hour to jacksonville just to visit & spend some time [not long, usually just like 2 hours or so] with him.
fuck him, i'm so done.
he can get the cock out of his ass & learn to loosen up occassionally.

on a lighter note, carter just called me.
i couldn't answer because i'm in class, so i texted him asking what's up.
he wants to hang out today :]]]]]
he's coming to the show tonight.
i really hope asshole isn't coming, that'd be awkward.
but if he does, i'm not saying shit to him unless he comes to me first.
which is more likely to happen, since he'll be here in wilmington.
& he doesn't know, or like, many wilmington kids.
butttttt...
i'm excited, i get to see carter like 3 days in a row, because i'm supposed to stay the night at his house tomorrow night, when i go to topsail.
he's one of the nicest kids ever, we've gotten so close it's amazing.
he'll talk to me about basically anything & everything.
he feels so comfortable telling me things.
he's moving to topsail next month, & he'll be in wilmington all the time, yayayay.
he's one of my favorite boys & i'll always be here for him :D

okay, i'm done.
fuck boys.
minus like 3.
or 4.
or at least just FUCK ANDREW KELLER.

edit 2: i think i'm going to start liking french boys.
the boy that plays hannibal lector in the new hannibal movie is SO cute :]


END EDIT.



edit 1: i realized in my last 3/4 updates, i've talked about fall out boy.
this is the first one i haven't been like "yay for fall out boy" hahaha.
except for now.
but this doesn't count :]

end edit.






so basically i love this guy with everything i have.
not like a LOVE love.
but i seriously admire him, he is the funniest guy i have ever seen.
HERO.

Dane Cook.
Dane Jeffrey Cook.
he's... god, he's amazing.
definitely my favorite comedian.
i seriously watch Vicious Circle almost daily.
i can't get through a day without quoting it.
:]


anyway, i turned in my interview with hofer today.
strickland loved it.
she told me i had very good questions & answers.
that's how we do.
i still can't get over how one of my really good friends is my mentor.
it's kinda weird to think about, haha.
but i like it, a lot.
because i trust him.
senior project is starting to kick my ass, though.
i need to keep an eye on deadlines.
our paper is due next friday, so the bulk of the work will be done.
then i can fully focus on my product.
which is good, because a stained glass romance comes next friday, & i can shoot some pictures of them.
especially of taddeo.
i love that kid.
i talk to him like daily again, & we're def cool.
he recently got in a fight & broke two ashtrays over a kid's head- cutting up his hand.
i was like "daaaaaaaaaamn!"
:]

i'm done.
time to sit in class & look at good ol' dc.

"when is the party?"
"saturday."
"know where i'm gonna be on saturday? at your fuckin party!"
"great! i'm gonna call everyone & tell them dc is coming!"
"ya know what? call em twice, because i'm on my way."

hahahahaha he's so amazing. :]

i thought i loved you.
it was just how you looked in the light.
a teenage vow in a parking lot.
"til tonight do us part."
i sing the blues & i swallow them, too.




that song is in my head.
yay fob, hahaha.



so madd & i think alex is fake.
like someone made him up.
but eh, shit happens.
i'm so hoping to go to richlands/topsail this weekend.
i wanna see andrew, matt, vanessa, & carter.
i have to work today from 2:00-6:30.
i really don't want to.
i have piano tonight.
i have to work on senior project & interview josh.
i need to get that done by tomorrow.
i have to finish writing my paper that's due in 9 days.
i'm done with this update.
so hum hallelujah.

cry on the couch, & the poets come to life.
fix me in 45.






yay for fob, hahaha.




so i FINALLY got a new car!
:D


meet my car, it's amazing.

2000 green Honda Civic.
it's my babay! :]

it's in the shop, but i get to pick it up today after school.
& i can drive it!
YAY!
it's about time i have my own car.

anyway, life is good.
madd & i have hung out like every day for the past few weeks.
i don't know why i'd ever get tired of her.
we're so dumb.

the boy life is good.
alex is amazing.
he randomly texted me the other day, & was like "i can't stop thinking about you"
i was like sdkjhfsjhsjgh!!
i can't wait til i can see him this summer.
it'll be the best time ever.
i was talking to his bestfriend, ally & she was like "do me a favor- don't hurt him."
& i told her she had nothing to worry about.
it's so cute that he talks to her about me.
i like it.

on saturday, andrew's new band's first show is in topsail, so i'm going.
i'm going to drive myself.
& i'm spending the night with tia & carter.
because carter was like COME STAY WITH ME! & i told him okay.
& i didn't get to see him, matt, & andrew this weekend like i was supposed to.
but this weekend was amazing.
even if i did work everyday but friday.
andrew better love me, i'm missing poison the well to go see him play.
:]

i'm done, PEACE.